Quasi 3D

Good Morning Everyone!

Coming to you live from John Wayne’s place and today is the day. But first let’s talk some new-aged Nintendo. Again, I’m not a gamer. I don’t want to own an X-Box or PS3. I don’t want to play fake 1^st person-shooter wars, we’re at war. And I really don’t care about trolls and elves and crap. But I do play some Nintendo games.

The Game Cube was purple. What? (You know the score.) We didn’t have much games for the Cube, but the games we did have we rocked. Super Mario Sunshine! F.L.U.D.D. on the back washing things. Dizzying graphics, but at times repetitive. But it’s cool, we loved the game. Pikmin! The best thing on the Cube ever. Toss and pull, toss and pull. Pull and drag. That game gave plant life a whole new look. We had other games, but those two were the action.

Career separated the Cube and I. That’s when I got down with the DS Lite. Every Mario game was bought and flipped. Ninja Gaiden was a beautiful treat. As with Mini Ninjas. Both Zelda games were instant classics. Go Toon Link! I got the Final Fantasy library for the DS, but those got too laborious to play, so I stuck with the one-run wonders. New Super Mario Bros. is hot.

Speaking of the New Super Mario Bros, let me introduce you to my Wii. It’s black everything. And I keep it flat: flat black. Wii-motes, the chucks, the console: black everything. And black is sexy. New Super Mario Bros. Wii (I’m all about speed runs and daredevil runs now), both Galaxy games (I still get dizzy), the Kart (ridin’ dirty), the Brawl (cheesing it with Meta Knight), the Zelda game (one more coming soon), Punch-Out (damn Bald Bull! hahahaha, but still on fire), Okami (thank you chuggaconroy…a beautiful game), Mini Ninjas (even bigger that the DS), Da Blob (I love music and I love color), Sports and Resort (let’s bowl!), and Wiiware (Dr. Mario…what?). Moving is so exciting, wouldn’t you agree?

These three systems took the regular 2-D Nintendo side-scroller and gave the characters body with quasi-3D visuals. So when I heard at the 2009 E3 Expo that Nintendo was developing a hand-held console that projects 3D graphics, I was down immediately. And now, I get down tonight!

There are no pictures for this one, but there will be a few on the next one. Until then. Next time, the 3DS.

I don’t want real-life…I want 3D!

Good Morning Everyone!

Coming to you live from I-5. So, the Nintendo 3DS was released and you can find them in stores now. I pre-ordered mine before preordering was cool. Unfortunately for me, I will not get mine until Thursday night. But until then, let’s spend the next 3 or 4 days talking Nintendo. The only Nintendo gaming systems that my family and I have owned were the the original NES, the Gamecube, I gots the Wii, the original GameBoy, GameBoy Color and the Nintedo DS Lite. 4 systems in 4 days. Let’s rant:

I am not a gamer, but I do play video games. When we got our NES, we got the Deluxe Set that came with the zapper,  R.O.B. the robot, Gyromite/Stack-Up and Duck Hunt. With those two games, we also got Seicross and Tiger Heli. Gyromite and Stack-Up took away too much time just to set-up (thank you R.O.B.) so they didn’t get much play. Duck Hunt was cute until that dog became annoying…which was quick.

Seicross made us hate rocks and Tiger Heli (much like Seicross) just kept on going…forever. But those were the classics. We didn’t have Super Mario Bros. or Super Mario Bros 2. In fact our first Mario game was Super Mario Bros. 3 (the best NES game ever). Our second NES Mario game was Dr. Mario, which has the best soundtrack ever (screw other opinions…Fever and Chill are banging).

Mike Tyson’s Punch Out was an instant play-all-day game. I remember not eating the night the game was bought, because we just got past Glass Joe and we were trying to figure how to beat Von Kaiser. I’ll admit it, I was knocked-down by Glass Joe at first…I was slow. King Hippo took awhile. Stupid Bald Bull “bull charge.” But I did TKO Mike in the 1st round once in my life instead of the round3 decision.

I skipped school just to play Double-Dragon II…I’m a master of the super-knee kick thing. Make them fly! Chicago Bears in Tecmo Bowl. Walter Payton running forever. Mike Singletary getting the sacks. Going long to Willie Gault. Returning everything with Gentry. We can easily rack up 200 points on the Redskins or Cowboys.

We never flipped Metal Gear…we don’t know how to destroy the Super Computer. Let’s not talk about Ninja Gaiden. WTF? Punching dogs to death! Hiding in a box! Okay that’s actually pretty neat…but still damn game. How does Snake carry all that crap? Dude is a boss! A boss that can’t even pick a lock to a locked door. Got to find that card key.

Of course we eventually got the Zelda games. They were gold…love that. Star Tropics was hot. You had to wet the map to see the code! What? Instant classic. Thanks to my dad traveling, we’ve had the pleasure of owning classics which were rare to find in the states. Burai Fighter was a beautiful game, but hard as hell. How can I play on Ace when I can barely beat the game on Eagle?

Another game brought to us from overseas was Romance of the Three Kingdoms; the NES game based on the classic Chinese novel. Thanks to this game, the novel is one of my favorites. I love the game too. Who am I playing? Of course I’m going to start off as Liu Bei. Of couse I want Guan Yu and Zhang Fei on my sqaud. I’m a winner. What? But the game is a classic whoever you chose as ruler.

As AVGN has showed us, with every good NES game, there is a stupid amount of bad games. For example, one of our worst Deja Vu. Alligator in a sewer, which we can shoot with our pistol. An endless sewer. Being mugged by the same guy. The girl in the red dress. We played this game a million times and never knew how to pass it. Who would have known to dump all of our possession in the sewer? Balls! Bad Dudes and N.A.R.C. should only be played in the arcade. But all NES games should be played.

3D in 4 days! Next time: GameBoy.